They Said No

There was a bird flying
Soaring through the clear blue skies
With the flock of her feather
She strived through
Then one day
She saw another flock
Of different feather
And her heart was taken
She said she wanted this
They said no, it’s senseless
Birds of a feather, flock together
Her heart pleaded in silence
Then one other day
She flies alone
Not with her flock, not where her heart is
Alone and bidding time
She can’t choose
One side will bleed
So she stayed away from both
But darkness is after her
Loneliness consumed her
Her feather changed
She hated it
She didn’t choose it
And the end of days came
She can’t take more changes
She’s not who she wanted to be
And she succumbed to despair

This Note

Send this hate note,
I penned it in rage,
Read it loud
of hate I poured out,
To piece of paper
I let it be known,
With ink of black,
dancing to my hatred,
Read it again,
Let it barge some sense
of my hate to you,
and your conniving ways.

Love Letter: I Wanna Be Somebody to You

I wanna be somebody to you
Somebody that can smile like idiot in your presence
Make you laugh insanely at my crazy antics
Thought me farting in front of you cute
and I will be embarrassed but we’ll laugh it off

I wanna be somebody that you think of
when you hear a song in the radio
Remind you of time we sing along to it
To be somebody that you remember
when you open your fridge at night
Because we heart midnight snacks

I wanna be somebody that makes you laugh
and makes you cry over and again
A weird person that makes you cringe
and your brows scrunched and your jaw drop
and by the end of the day
You might think you’re crazy
But you know, we BOTH are crazy together
and it’s wonderful we got each other

I wanna be somebody that you wanna tease
Somebody that you wanna piss off
Just because your heart get a kick from it
Knowing how much you annoyed me
and know that I still look at you
and I know you will have that grin in your face
because then you can win me over
Tomorrow, you’d do it again
because you know you’re the only one that can do so

I wanna be somebody to you
Make you feel awkward and comfy with
and makes you think of our future
Be somebody that would wait for you
but end up snoring in front of TV
Be that person you called out for when you come home
and I’ll be screaming out from the kitchen
cooking for you and our children
You’ll rush to the kitchen and you’ll frown
because I’m not done cooking and you’re hungry
but you’ll wait because it’s me cooking for you
even when it’s only a fried egg
and I will take a lot of time because I’m just
that clumsy girl you love

I’ll be somebody to you
That makes you wait for the day when you can count my wrinkles
Your hand at the small of my back and hold my hand still
when the time comes that we both grow grey hair
I might lose a tooth or two
and you do too, with our glasses thickens
but I will still think you’re handsome as hell
and you will still think I’m pretty as angel

I wanna be that somebody to you
That you talk to every night
from a girl that I am today and the old woman I’ll be
And from the first day on
We’ll still bicker each day till the end
but we always make up after all thrown punches
and you’d someday say to me;
“Do you remember that fight we had?”
or I’d someday say to you;
“You still remember that shirt I wore to our first date?”
I know you’d probably won’t remember
and I’m probably not gonna remember too
but I love teasing you and you’d think hard
just so I’m not gonna sulk
Years to the future we will forget some things
Some memories we’ll love to remember always
Our hearts will remember when our mind don’t

That’s somebody I wanna be for you
For as long as time stand still
because gosh my dear,
we are good together
It’s surreal.
It’s madness.
It’s addictive.
It’s scary.
It’s us together
being weird, loving, hating and just plain stupid with each other
with compatibility that defy peanut butter and jelly.
Me and
You
Being mushy and all.
Others wanna puke.

THE END (but not really the end)

A Trip around My State

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These pictures were taken on a trip I went with my mom and couple of her friends. This is in Sarikei, Sarawak. I don’t write much about this since this was only a one day trip. Not much to write of except pictures. Enjoy!

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A village in Sarikei area where we stop while waiting for high tides.
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My favorite shoes, never leave without it.

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Crabs selling in a sampan.

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There are crocs in the water but maybe not nearby. I don’t know why they seemed okay with that and this boy is fearless.
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Our boat
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400 engines power

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These are the only eyesore to the area…. :(

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School, Lake and Pig Farm

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There are a lot I can remember of my school years. The bad and the good memories of it, all bittersweet. A school is where we started to plan the future and I can still remember most of my dreams and goals. Some of which are hilarious and seems so distant now. I hate school, the homework and the stress, and I love it too, my friends and all the fun. I was visiting my mom’s hometown couple of weeks ago and got the chance to visit the primary school she went to. It was during Eid school break. The school is exactly next to my grandparent’s house, which is now occupied by my uncle’s family (my mom’s older brother).

Going around the school compound, I am struck by the simplicity and the calming sense in the area. I went to a much more modern school with a lot more students and so, this was an experience of appreciation. This school situated in a small town and surrounded by few houses, longhouses and orchards. There’s an old graveyard area not far from the area too. Community there no longer bury their dead there, if I’m not mistaken, and it’s a taboo area. It is a quiet village area and most houses are walking distance and know each other well. The orchards are heaven for fruit lovers during fruit season.

The school provides a dormitory for students who lived far from school and can’t afford to commute every day. The total students probably don’t even reach a hundred but the facilities are adequate. Electricity and water are supplied well, though it may not come close to what most school in the city have. The old buildings still standing strong and new ones are in planning for the school. The teachers are great and for sure helped the students there with academics and beyond. A small school as this, the bond is stronger and family-oriented. I can say that I wish this school never lose the charm that the city school don’t have. :) I can imagine my mom and her siblings running around the school as a children.

I don’t mind to go for school here, though I’m sure I’ll miss the internet.

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A small croc were found in the water few years ago. There’s a small stream the connected the water to a main river and the croc well, lost his way.
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I can imagine myself sitting there in the evening.
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The other side of the lake and that’s the principal house.
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Imagining myself fishing at the lake. :) The classroom is the building in the background.
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Old generator house before electricity available.

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Kindergarten building.
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Football/soccer field. It may not be the with the best grass and all but I bet they are having fun that no one care much.
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This, I guess, is the substation.
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My young cousin (my uncle’s youngest son). A former student and he led the way for me around the school. That’s the school hall which is an open-air type. They have to walk in the rain to get to the hall if they have to and I have to tell you, it is uphill from the classroom building. Not easy.
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A small stage set up.
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On the way down to the lake from the hall. It must be slippery walking down when it is raining.

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This is where students have their bath and clean their clothes. All students are expected to clean their own clothes, there are no laundry provided.

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Their dorm building.
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Chickens around the compound. Belongs to the villagers nearby or my uncle’s.

The pictures below afterward are from around my uncle’s land. I love going around the area. :)

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A duck duck his head. :P
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On the way to my uncle’s pig farm.

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That pig was smitten by my pretty cousin. Just kidding.

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To the main river.

Walking back to the school with my three cousins. :)

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My young cousins. Two on the right are siblings, their father is my mom’s older brother too. The one on the left is my uncle’s other son, the older brother to the one that showed me around the school.

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The big tree fascinated me in some way.

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A tree stump by the lake where the students love to hide in when they had hide-n-seek.

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